Cause if I was this would just be a big boo hoo hoo.
it wasn't a bad weekend - in fact that there were parts that were spectacular - but I'm kind of depressed about something I keep thinking is over but keeps managing to come back to bite me in the tuchus again (this time really should be it though - can't see how the situation could manage any more boomerangs), and the damned dock I keep trying to get properly secured keeps finding a way to chafe it's lines, and I'd really wanted to at least keep that off of a old friend's heaping pile of responsibilities but since there are other paddlers using the dock & now one of 'em's going to write a letter - damn, now I feel like I shoulda just left the situation be
- although we do have a functioning dock because I really did try whereas before we didn't really - I just wish I'd done a better job...and we did have a really beautiful paddle on the Hudson yesterday - great to get outside -
I just feel like I've let my friend down with the dock thing - I said I'd take care of it & now it's ending up back in his lap. hate doing that.
but the big thing that's depressing me tonight is that we didn't get the people that I was SO hoping would roll tonight to roll. They all continued to hover on the boundary. Everything continued to be almost right but the 2 bugbears of 1st time rollers, the diving blade & the instinctive pop-up of the head to breathe, just kept on happening. God, if I was a more experienced rolling instructor maybe I'd be able to explain these better but I just couldn't figure out a key to make it work.
damn damn damn damn damn.
Like I said, the problem with teaching rolling is that the bar's just so damned obvious - and when students who really should be able to do it still can't I just start kicking myself. And scanning all my books & surfing the internet for different ways to approach the problem. I mean, it was like the magic feather in Dumbo - I had one of 'em doing rolls while I literally had just the tips of my middle & index fingers in contact with her paddle - I wasn't really doing anything more than tracing the path the blade had to follow, she was doing absolutely everything else - but take those two fingertips away & back to the land of close-but-no-kewpie-doll.
In the end, nothing earth-shattering really - just a couple of situations where I wish I could've done better. Well, at least I care & I'll keep trying.
anyways...like I said, good thing I decided not to post this weekend. I think I should go follow my instructions on yesterday's non-post now. thhhbt.