Anyone who's reading this & knows me knows that monologues are not my forte. I can sometime get up a good head of steam on a topic with which I'm familiar & about which I care, but there's usually something of a dam-breaking aspect to any lengthy & vehement outpouring of words...something's been bottled up & has to come out. And when that happens - well, I say what I have to say but I don't necessarily enjoy my moment on center stage & end up feeling guilty in the end.
Writing's different. Writing, I have the time to sort through the thoughts, follow the thought processes I'm going through, decide what's relevant vs. what's just plain old self-indulgence. In fact I think I'm doing better at this blog thing than I do at paper journals because a)the fact that other people might be reading does make me tend to keep the emotional bilgewater I sometime pour out in paper journals (which then makes me cringe, rip out the entries & shred 'em after running across the abandoned-after-3-days journal a year later) in check and b) it makes it possible to go back & clean up the sloppiness that sneaks in anyways.
I have a tough topic I'm thinking about right now though & I think it's going to take more thinking before I can write about it with any coherence.
There was a drowning last weekend at the pier where I keep my kayaks. I found out about it because my friend L. had called me just to say "Hi" & while we were talking, he spotted the article in a New York Post someone had left nearby.
The article doesn't give a lot of detail that would really let you know how it happened. But the fact is that somebody drowned at Pier 63. If it turns out that this could in any way be linked to negligence on the part of the owners - well. Who knows. I just hope it was purely an accident - the article did mention that the man had a history of seizures & perhaps had had one that somehow sent him over the railing into the water. I guess time will tell on this one.
Still sorting out my thoughts on this. About water access & how it's great because it lets people get to the water, but also dangerous for the same reason. Also thinking maybe in more days there will be more details. But I can't help thinking about how just a couple of posts ago, I wrote with such enthusiasm about how the border between the city, where the rules are those of human manufacture, and the river, where you obey the tides and the weather and the power of the river before anything else, is so sharp and clear and immediate and how much I love that...
For this guy, it was too immediate and it killed him.
anyways...still mulling things over. I want to say things about it, but I don't know what yet.
Not up for monologue tonight...so instead I'm going to give you a link to something I read today that I kinda want to pass along. Trust me. I'm violently allergic to saccharine. I have deleted every bit of "glurge" that ever stickied up my inbox...but this is real & worth sharing.
The blog is called Sardonic Bomb. Sometimes he is. Not today.