Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Really Cranky Book Review

Lifted more or less straight from this morning's Facebook status:

Moment at which I realized I should have just dropped the stupid Dan Brown knockoff back in the early chapters when we went back from modern-day Barcelona to a battle between the Knights Templar* and the oh-so-mystical Seven Knights of Moriah --

Chapters and chapters later, back in the present, when our hero makes the following discovery after he and our heroine drive up to a mountain to watch the submarine races, while a satanic cult continues to knock off their friends back in town:

"It's Ursa Major, María. On your back. The freckles are shaped just like Ursa Major...on your skin. It's you, María. You're the key."

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOO!!!!

And there's a David Sedaris waiting at home for me in bed. Sheeesh.

*Wait, wait, was it the Knights Templar that the 7K's of M were fighting, or was it Catalunyan separatists? Oh, whatevahs. Same diff.

6 comments:

O Docker said...

OK, this is just an opinion, but I think this post could have been better if you'd focused more on why David Sedaris is in your bed.

bonnie said...

He'd probably like an explanation of that himself. And if it was THE David Sedaris, I'd probably feel like I should provide one. However, since it's just a David Sedaris, I think I'll just let him wonder.

O Docker said...

What happens in Brooklyn stays in Brooklyn.

bonnie said...

URSA MAJOR! ON YOUR BACK! STAR MAP! IN FRECKLES! AIIIEEEE!

bonnie said...

Distracted now? :D

O Docker said...

Well, you know how it is.

It's late at night, you can't figure out where your blog post, uh, I mean where the plot should go next. You have a glass of wine to spur your creativity. But that doesn't help, so you have another glass of wine.

And then, you get this idea that seems just brilliant at the time. You write furiously. You publish.

And the next thing you know, you wake up and you're in bed with a David Sedaris.