Thursday, April 20, 2006

Somebody's saying nice things about me.

So Mr. Sea Level has a good post up about tuning up a rusty Greenland roll it he says some nice things about me. Good thing since I've been on an insecurity bender all week. I'm occasionally prone to those. Sorry about that.

Quick update on that front - I talked to the person whose email I perceived as dismissive; he absolutely didn't mean to do it, his response totally convinced me of that which is GREAT 'cause he's somebody about whom I've heard good good stuff, and he's heard good stuff about me, too, and it would have been a shame if my own insecurity had screwed things up since he's hoping to start doing some paddles with my crew & we're really looking forward to it. The stupid insecurity thing - well, I've never been the most self-confident person in the world, but that trait was unfortunately exacerbating by having gotten my toes tromped pretty badly & pretty regularly back when I was actually trying to play "leader" in my MKC days - that's just NYC politics for ya, but the end result is that I do tend to go into porcupine mode a little too fast now. Anyways, the good thing about this guy's email was that it DID make me come right out & say what I'd been hinting at - which was basically "We did a bad crossing, here's what I think caused the problem, here's the solution, and also here's some group paddling & paddling in traffic stuff on which I think we could all stand to brush up". The way I first did it I was basically dropping hints in a way that ensured that only the other paddlers who were there would understanding what I was talking about while the other 50-odd Rustbucket paddlers would be left thoroughly in the dark. Being put on the spot so that I came right out & said what I meant so that everybody could get it wasn't such a bad thing. And the guy didn't mean to so I believe we've got a genuine no harm, no foul, some benefit, which is all for the good.

But anyways - at the same time as I've been beating myself up here, in real life I've been having a luverly time teaching and/or practicing at pool sessions in Rye (Small Boat Shop, tell 'em Bonnie sent you!) and Sarah Lawrence College (Yonkers Paddling & Rowing Club) - good stuff. I ended up working quite a bit with Mr. SeaLevel last week and...well, his writeup makes me a little embarrassed that I indulged my insecurity as openly as I did in the last 2 posts. Thhhbt. I'm not so bad.

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