Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Boats Boaters Hate.


I try not to get too negative on this blog, although there are days when I'm so frustrated with one thing or another that I'd just like to sign onto Blogger and scream, I try to keep it to a whimper whenever I can.

But I thought it might be fun to have a little wallow today, and invite anybody who feels like sharing to wallow along in the comments.

Now what got me thinking of doing this was a funny little confluence - first off, finding myself smack in the middle that battle for world domination I'd mentioned yesterday, secondly, I left comment on Tugster today saying "go check out this video, but don't tell the guy I sent you, he hates kayakers!".

And I got to thinking - do all boaters have that one variety of boat they just think should go away?

Joe Rouse fears the threatened takeover of the world by Laser sailors. EliBoat thinks kay-whackers should all have their boats sunk by orcas, just like in the Powerade commercial. (2010 note - linked to Google cache...EliBoat is gone? :( ) Tillerman thinks catamarans are boring. At least the virtual variety. In the kayaking world alone, there's the Greenland vs. Euro thing, all KINDS of snobbery rained down upon recreational kayaks, sitatops, and inflatables, I used to know a guy who was good for at least a half-hour of the most entertaining ranting & raving if you even whispered the word "Prijon" within earshot...oh, the list goes on and on.

Me? Oh, I'm pretty openminded, don't even hate jetskis the way so many kayakers do - sure, I'd hate 'em on a peaceful mountain lake, and I hated the yay-hoos who used to use the Hudson & thought it was hysterical to come at a kayaker at full speed & spin out at the last possible minute - or, less terrifying but still annoying, come up to tours I was guiding & try to pick up every single female below the age of 50 - but I've also seen some awesome safety work done by jetskiers at the Quicksilver Eddie Aikau Big-Wave Surfing Contest, which my dad & I had the amazing good fortune to catch in person one year, and then you just can't scoff at the folks who put the "tow" in "tow-in surfing", even if it's the surfers who get the glory (this clip ROCKS! DO NOT MISS the WINDSURFER at the end! You have to keep a sharp eye out for the jetskis, but they are there & Laird Hamilton wouldn't be doing this without them).

So nope, I don't hate jetskis, just jerks on jetskis. But I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I was that open-minded on ALL boats - nope, my universal to-the-last-member-of-it's-class loathing is of course reserved for cigarette boats. I genuinely think the waterways of the world would be a better place if these gas-guzzling eardrum-shattering compensations-for-certain-shortcomings were all turned into one big artificial reef somewhere. See, I'm just as rabid as the rest of the world!

So my question for today is - if you could nominate one kind of boat to add to that artificial reef, what kind would it be, and why? You get to define the class, it can be anything from "the smoke-belching stinkpot in the berth next to mine" to "every plastic boat ever made" to...well, you get the idea, right?

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